Be the Guy: The 30-Day Identity Shift That Changes Everything

Most men know that guy—the one who shows up, leads well, keeps his word, and seems grounded in who he is. In this episode of the Driven 2 Thrive Broadcast, Brent Dowlen breaks down why becoming that guy isn’t about motivation or massive life overhauls—but about identity, consistency, and keeping small promises to yourself.

What Listeners Will Get

In under 10 minutes, listeners will walk away with:

• A simple 4-week framework to shift identity—not just behavior
• A neuroscience-backed explanation of why habits feel hard at first
• A practical reset that doesn’t rely on New Year’s resolutions
• A clear path from admiring disciplined men to becoming one

Key Takeaways

• New habits don’t fail because you’re weak—they fail because your brain hasn’t automated them yet
• Identity is formed by kept promises, not intentions
• Four small, consistent habits can rewire how you see yourself
• Consistency beats intensity every time

Why You Should Listen

If you’re tired of starting over, breaking promises to yourself, or feeling stuck admiring other men’s lives—this episode gives you a simple, repeatable system to change who you are becoming.

Sponsors:

MyPillow

Free MyPillow Promo Code "THRIVE" for up to 80% off your entire order at MyPillow!   

Get up to 80% off EVERYTHING at MyPillow with promo code "THRIVE"! We are proudly sponsored by MyPillow offers quality products at affordable prices. Use the code for savings on sheets, pillows, slippers, and more. Shop 250+ American-made items and support both the podcast and a great company. Enjoy the comfort and savings today! 🥳

www.mypillow.com/thrive

Want to Share Your Message with the World?
Looking to be a guest on a podcast and reach a wider audience? Or maybe you host your own podcast and want to find amazing, high-quality guests—without the hassle?

If you answered yes, PodMatch is exactly what you need. Join Here: https://www.joinpodmatch.com/driven2thrive

Support our podcast: 

Support us on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/thefallibleman 

Buy us a Coffee! https://www.buymeacoffee.com/thefallibleman

S07E04 of the Driven 2 Thrive Broadcast

Want to be a guest on Driven 2 Thrive: Purpose, Growth, and Lasting Impact For Men? Send David Dowlen a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/driven2thrive

Guest Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on this podcast are solely those of the guests. They do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the host, any organizations, companies, or institutions mentioned, or corporate entities represented by the host.

Our aim is to provide a platform for diverse perspectives and open dialogue. While we strive for accuracy and balance, it's important to recognize that opinions may vary. We encourage critical thinking and further exploration of the topics discussed.

Links included in this description might be affiliate links. If you purchase a product or service with the links that I provide I may receive a small commission. There is no additional charge to you, and I appreciate your support!

This post & video is designed for educational and/or informational purposes only and should not be used in any other manner

Transcript

Be the Guy: The 30-Day Identity Shift That Changes Everything

Speaker: [00:00:00] Gentlemen, will you gimme 10 minutes? 10 minutes for the rest of your life? You all have that guy who sticks out in your mind. The one when you're like, man, that's the dude, that's the man. That's the right. And even if I said that, that's just jumping into your head. Like that picture jumped into your brain.

If you gimme 10 minutes, I will give you the tools, help you become that guy instead of going, yeah, he's the guy. What do you think? Do you have 10 minutes to take a bet on? We'll start the time right now, guys. Gimme 10 minutes. We'll start changing your life today. Starting now. Gentlemen, where are MyPillow household?

I have dozens of MyPillow products I use every single day. We're proud to have an American company like MyPillow and Mike Lindell as sponsors of our show. You can go to mypillow.com and use promo code Thrive for up to 80% off your order for free shipping. Over on orders over [00:01:00] $75. For our listeners, we have sheets, pillows, bath towels, kitchen towels, slippers.

I got MyPillow products everywhere, guys, and I absolutely love them, and I think you will too. So check it out, mypillow.com promo code. Thrive. The Driven 2 Thrive broadcast purpose, growth, and lasting impact for men, helping men go from living to thriving purpose-filled intentional lives. Welcome to the Driven 2 Thrive broadcast where men learn to lead themselves, their families, and their world with purpose, growth, and lasting impact.

I'm your host, Brent, Dowlen, and let get into it. Now. I know that if you bother to make a New Year's resolution, 96% chance you already quit. Let's face it, the majority of us don't bother to make New Year's resolutions anymore because they're kind of stupid. And if you do like them, like I said, it's, it's a 96% failure rate.

That's pretty incredible. If you are one of the 4% that's gonna keep your New Year's resolution, you actually probably already [00:02:00] started those habits as it was and didn't bother to make a New Year's resolution. That's just how it works. The majority of people don't do it, so don't kick yourself too hard if you didn't make it.

But here we are, almost in February, and you let that go. Maybe you started out with good intentions, but the truth is you probably picked too lofty of a goal and went about it the wrong way because most people tank on the New Year's resolutions because they don't actually understand the enormity of what they're trying to do because they aren't thinking about all the little things.

They aren't thinking about all the little things involved with whatever resolution they went after. But that shouldn't keep you from becoming who you wanna be. You don't need New Years to do that. In fact, the world needs you to become who you wanna be. So I'm begging you desperately, please continue listening to this show because we're gonna change your life today, because becoming that guy, that's actually way easier than you realize.

Now, when I talk about that guy, [00:03:00] someone's popping in your mind. You already know, right? I can say. Oh, that's the man, right? That's the guy. And someone just jumped into your mind. But you can be that guy. You absolutely can be that guy. And the world needs you to become that guy, and we're gonna make it really easy.

The first thing we have to do is we have to change that language and we have to listen to the stoics. The pick has taught us. First, say to yourself what you would be, and then do what you have to do. So you need to change the way you're talking to yourself. Because really it's just about the fact that you're under construction right now, right?

So that's okay. You need to be under construction. And it starts with you saying, I'm gonna be that guy. No, I don't want you to take on their personality. I don't want you to have to imitate them and everything they do, because that's not what you're thinking when you go, oh my God, he's that guy. Right?

What you're thinking about is all the positive things. [00:04:00] Maybe that's their success. Maybe that's their relationship. You know, they have a great marriage, they have a great relationship with their kids. They're really healthy, they're in good shape. They're great when it comes to business. That's okay. That's why you go, man, that guy, right?

So say to yourself, I am that guy. We have to change the language first and foremost, because that is actually the first thing that is preventing you. From becoming that guy is you aren't telling yourself, you aren't believing or describing yourself as that guy. So start telling yourself, I am that guy and this is what we're gonna do.

We're gonna change it Your life with a four week challenge. It's the be the Guy challenge. At least that's a really lame title I'm gonna come up with, and it works like this for the next four weeks to become that guy. This is what you need to do. Find one book. Is based on personal development [00:05:00] or, uh, something that increases a skill.

I don't even care about personal development. Pick a book that is sharpening one of your skills, is making you smarter. It's making you better at something, is teaching you a skill that you want to aspire to. That's step number one. Pick that book, start that book. Read it every day for the next four weeks.

You don't have to read it unstop. Just read it every day for the next four weeks. Number two, fix your sleep habit. Pick. I go to bed at this time, I'm that guy, and I get up at this time and keep it the same seven days a week for the next 30 days. I know February is only 28 days, but keep it the same every day For the next 30 days.

Yes. Even weekends. Okay. I am the guy who goes to bed at nine 30 and I get up at 4:00 AM or you don't have to do that. I do that on a regular basis, but starting in your sleep cycle regularly, same routine every single day. Number three, pick an exercise habit that's appropriate. That might be depending [00:06:00] on your health level.

I go to the gym four times a week instead of three times a week. That might be I go for a walk three days a week because I'm not ready for the gym yet. Pick an appropriate exercise habit. Commit to it two to three days a week, depending on where you're at. And do that two to three days a week. Commit to it.

And number four, pick a growth habit. Maybe volunteer more. I wanna volunteer more. I want to apply to X amount of jobs because I wanna change where I'm at professionally. Maybe that's building resume and learning what you need to do to make your resume actually work. I want you to track these habits on a calendar for the next month.

Four, really simple, right? Four. Start a book. Set your sleep schedule. Start an exercise habit, and pick one growth habit that makes you better. Professionally, personally, whatever it takes relationally, track it on your calendar. [00:07:00] Now, the reason most people fail is new habits are hard because our brain hasn't put them on autopilot yet, right?

We have to move from prefrontal cortex where new habits start to the basal ganglia, which is where habit automation happens. The way we do that is through repetition. New habits only feel hard because your brain just hasn't put you on automation yet. Once your brain gets to automation. They're super simple.

The way you get to automation is consistency. Do these four things every day like clockwork for 30 days. When you get to the end of 30 days, add two to three more habits and go for another 30 days with the four habits you've already started, and two to three other positive habits. This is the recipe to become that guy.

What happens in your brain when you keep your word to yourself is it becomes identity. You stop going from that guy or [00:08:00] looking at that guy and you start saying, this guy is the guy who keeps his word to himself. This is the guy is the guy who reads a book every day. This guy is the guy who keeps his sleep schedule.

This guy is the guy who shows up and does my exercise program three days a week, four days a week, whatever's appropriate. When you start to identify as the guy who keeps promises to himself, it becomes part of your identity. Follow through becomes really easy because the internal resistance absolutely drops, stress decreases and cognitive dissonance phase.

Guys, the more you keep your promises to yourself, the more you do what you say. Easier it becomes and keeping your word re rewires your identity, not just your behavior. Spro, small promises kept build more momentum than big habits broken. See, that's the problem. Everybody tries to go big. Four simple things.

Four simple things if you keep your word to yourself, okay? [00:09:00] You will change who you are because every time you keep a promise is proof of virtue, is proof of integrity's, proof of identity, broken promises, weaken that, but kept promises. Absolutely turn you into a new person and a new monster. Like you'll be amazed what you can do.

When you keep doing what you said you were gonna do, even when nobody is watching, you'll become stronger, you'll become better, and you will start your journey to become that guy. I promise you. Now guys, I promise you I would do this in 10 minutes or less. I still have a minute to go, but that's the end of the show.

Guys, if this helped you out, if this is the start of your journey, 'cause I know it is, this is a simple plan to get you where you want to be. I promise it works. I work with men all the time. I talk to men all the time. Simple habits start you. That's why Jordan Peterson talks about making your bed. [00:10:00] This is the game changer you need.

Screw New Year's resolutions. Your journey starts today. Be better tomorrow because what you do today, we'll see you on the next one. The Driven 2 Thrive broadcast purpose, growth, and lasting impact for men, helping men go from living to thriving. Purpose-filled intentional lives.